
It was a bright and crisp winter morning. I was standing on the street outside of a building, gathering my thoughts before I would enter and begin my next meeting. I was wearing a floral print dress, a black blazer, beige heels and a parka – because, it’s still winter. I was holding a carryout cup of tea, my purse and laptop bag.
YOU SLUT. DO YOU WANT TO GET RAPED? From across the street, a man with mental health challenges stared me down and yelled furiously at me as he walked with purpose down the sidewalk.
The old me would have immediately averted my gaze, feel shame for drawing such attention and kick myself for putting myself in such a position. The old me would have heard the voices of the women before me that said, be small.
BE STILL I stood my ground and stared back without emotion. My gaze did not waver, my footing stable. I remained motionless to defy the all-too-familiar feeling of fear.
I took stock of my surroundings.
Daylight.
We are in a public place.
My cell phone is in my pocket.
I’m safe.
AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT I began my meeting as if the verbal assault by a complete stranger never took place. I was pleasant and gracious as we went through the meeting agenda, while inside, I felt a little broken.
Pushing through is a skill, honed over many years and many similar situations, that compartmentalizes the shock and emotions that arise from being denigrated and diminished in public. It is a skill to carry on and focus on everything else when all you want to do is cry and process what brought you to that moment and question why this even happens.
VOX I had not told anyone what happened. It was only this morning’s light that reminded me of the situation. I wonder how many forgotten stories of assault, aggression and attacks are out there, brushed aside because we women have better things to do than to address each grievance and disrespect. This is not the first time. This will not be the last time.
I’m sharing this recent experience because I want to add to the conversation and lend a data point to show that women are constantly under surveillance and assault. This is real.
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